Gordana Rauški, Kikinda

BUDNA SAM 

Budna sam.
Odjednom mi se ne sviđaju
sva moja bivša dopadanja:
proklizavaju kroz prste sve

dosad razumom poželjene stvari.
Sve zanatski započete pesme se
povlače u nemušta skrovišta perfekta
koji se kameni u pomen mojim
pregorelim logičkim očekivanjima.

Budna sam.
Izuvam lagano svoje paradne sandale
i radujem se maznim, krilatim stopalima.
Pažljivo skidam haljinu kao
da napuštam kožu neke nevoljene žene.
Uranjam gola u sopstvene ruke
i punim ih čarolijom rasterećenja.

Budna sam.
Odjednom mi se sviđaju
sva moja bivša ustezanja:
Dopuštam nemiru da mi zagrcnuto
obujmljuje ramena i nudim mu
snove u zaloge.
Izmeštam centar sveta, izmičem načinu oslonce
i puštam uhodanosti da se po klizištima snalaze.
Strujim. Ne dižem Skadar na bojanju
nego na kolotečini hidrocentralu!

Budna sam.
Raste mi se u zagrljenoj slobodi.
Gine mi se u raspravi iz koje
se zaključci izvlače kao zaljubljeni dezerteri
iz opsade uskogrudih načela.
Voli mi se više od principa stečenih
po smetlištima impotentne intelektualnosti.
Ljubi mi se hrabrost u očima koje
toplinom priznaju ljubav.

Svesno rastavljam bajku na igrive delove..
i do krvi je zarivam u život.

I AM AWAKE

I am awake.

Suddenly, I dislike

all the things I had liked before:

all these reasonable things things

slip throuh my fingers.

All my craftily written poem

withdraw  into silent shelters of past

which turns into stone because of my

logical expectations that I had overcome.

I am awake.

I take off slowly my sandals for parades

and I enjoy feeling my cuddly, winged feet.

I  am taking off my dress carefully

as  if I am leaving the skin of an unloved woman.

I am naked and I immerse into my own arms

and  I fill them with with the magic of relief.

I am awake.

Suddenly, I like all my previous embarrassments:

I let restlesness hug my shoulders excitedly

and I offer it

my dreams in pledge.

I move the centre of the world, I replace the ways of relience

and I leave smoothness on slippery grounds.

I flow. I don`t build the castle made of fear.

Instead, I make a hydropower plant on a rut!

I am awake.

 I want to embrace my freedom and to grow.

I want to die during discissions

which conclusions resemble deserters in love

collected from the blockade of narrow-minded principles.

I choose love over the principles that I had found

in the dumps of impotent intellectuality.

I want to kiss courage in the eyes that have warmth

which admits love.

I am awake.

I decompose conciously the fairy tale and I choose plaful parts

and I plunge it deeply into life.

Prevela: Aleksandra Kovrlija